Cold as the Danish Alps

The start of something new

This marks the last post here on albertine.posterous.com.
In the coming year of 2011, my penning down of thoughts will be done at fancyzing.posterous.com.

Thank you for being my reader.

Happy blessed Christmas

A Fine Frenzy, Wish You Well

You're a million miles away this Christmas
You're a million miles away from home
But if you feel like coming back, coming back, let me know

I haven't heard you call me (sister)
I haven't heard it said in years
But it's a funny thing now it's the only thing I want to hear
For I don't know you anymore

I said ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling
Ring a sleigh bell
Ring a doorbell
I want to wish you well.

I only play this song during the Christmas festive season, and I don't feel as lonely as I did last year. A few special friends in particular have been very kind and gracious to me, and I appreciate them to no end. I have been extremely wrapped up in work matters, resulting in my feeling physically drained most of the time. Besides work, I am also worried about my studies but have been very active in meeting up close friends every now and then.

I have a lot of things to say and record down for this Posterous. Will gather my thoughts and put them down in prose soon when I get some decent time allowances to myself.

The winter solstice girl turned 21 this December

I am 21 now, and to most people the significance of the age is an apparent milestone. 

I only know that I have been very brave and has done my best for this year, even though at times I still feel I have been making useless progress.

I hope for more quiet and peaceful birthdays in the years to come.

And below, the lyrics to my favourite song, from my best band of all-time:

Mae, Awakening

When I close my eyes to this paradox place, I'll fly away far away from here, I’ll get away and dream, dream of you. When it's all said and done, and the night has come, I'll disappear, take flight on the wind of wishing you were here, fading light, like a star whose life has been gone for years. 

The quaint and comforting thing about music, is that they are never going to go away. The only constant in my life. Thank you for your grace, and for being so amazing.

Elizabeth Wurtzel

To have a pure heart, and always be true, means that a lot of life is spent in sorrow. But I wouldn't be happy or alive at all any other way.

The Haunting

[Photo source: thresca@Tumblr]

With regards to be above in my context, "you" refers to the world, refers to life and its vicissitudes. I can only be glad for the kindness that has been extended to me fleetingly and occasionally by acquaintances.

December

Eminem (featuring Rihanna), Love The Way You Lie

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight
High off of love, drunk from her hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I suffocate.

I am just trying not to turn even more of a workaholic than I already am. I feel myself slipping away whenever I realise I am so focused on my career, life goals and the ending that I am not even appreciating, noticing things around me and doing what I like as much as I should and would like to be.

I have been working really hard for myself and my life. Even though at times I feel it is all going nowhere, I am going to keep trying and trying. The only good thing out of all this pain, life and vicissitudes, is how I have learnt the value of kindness. There is just no way I can fail myself.

My birthday is coming soon. I am going to turn 21, and looking back, it has been quite daunting to have been through so much. I am not sure if they are going to stop, if they are going to finally end. But honestly, I fully just wish to have a quiet and peaceful birthday and festive season for the rest of the month.

Couldn't tell you how it started or where it is fought

[Photo source: thresca@Tumblr]

Thirteen Senses, You Never Try To Turn Me Back

It's impossible for me to take
It's impossible for me to take my time

And all that you see
It's not defined in anyway
Understand that you never really try to turn it back
No you never really try to turn it back

No you never really try to take it back
No you never really try to turn me back.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

Usually we walk around constantly believing ourselves. “I’m okay” we say. “I’m alright”. But sometimes the truth arrives on you and you can’t get it off. That’s when you realize that sometimes it isn’t even an answer—it’s a question. Even now, I wonder how much of my life is convinced.”

You are a victim of the rules you live by

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Life has been some combination of fairy-tale coincidence and joie de vivre and shocks of beauty together with some hurtful self-questioning.

Renounced

The feeling is metaphorically similar to being thrown into the cold murky waters... and you don't even recall the push, but only the fall.

Saving

Life is too short. We should be happy.